omfg I was watching this sound off but then I was like “wait what if they’re making cute lil animal noises” so I turned the sound on and fucking lost it
will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake
so when i made this i didn’t expect ANY notes so i feel like an asshole now for not explaining. so incase you check the notes, 86 in restaurant terms means “unavailable or out of stock” but has kinda morphed into “omit” or “leave out”. but none of us had worked in a restaurant before, also why would you not just say “no cherries” it’s the same amount of characters to type
Man ordering food: I work in the restaurant business ;)
Children working at restaurant: this guy must really like cherries. Got something in your eye there sir
i love that i have to go to menswear to find a shirt a human being in the world would wear and then when i do it takes me .5 seconds to find it. I love that
me: i need a plain black t shirt
target women’s section: would you like to have a giant scoop neck that would definitely like completely show at least one of your boobs. would you, an adult woman, like to wear a crop top? would you like to look like a human piñata. BLACK? I think you mean jewel tones babey!
target men’s section: yeah sure. it’s the first thing you see as you walk into the shirt aisle. have a good one
Women’s section: would you like a shirt made out of tissue paper that costs $34.99??
Men’s section: here’s 25 normal tshirts for a quarter
Women’s Section: Would you like to play fucking guessing games with our arbitrary sizing systems and style names? Also, we added a bunch of fake pockets for your personal inconvenience!
Men’s Section: Here’s a bunch of pants organized by the exact inch length of your waist and legs. With pockets that can hold more than just a credit card.
Women’s Section: Oh you want a plain tee-shirt? Here you go, it’s completely see through so you either have to a) wear something else over it or b) let everyone see your bra!
Men’s Section: Here’s an amazingly comfortable shirt that no one can see your undergarments through. Have a nice day!
Women’s section: if you’re a nerd? I guess you wanna show titties and have glitter huh???
Men’s section: Here this has the hogwarts crest on it and it’s like five bucks
Women’s section: you want shorts? I guess that means you want something really short huh??? Might even see your butt??
Men’s section: Here’s comfortable shorts that are longer than like 15 cm long, have a good day
i found the post again
Women’s section:you want a hoodie? Well here’s one that’s tight fitting and accents the one thing you don’t want to be seen, miss!
Men’s section:hoodie? Oh sure, here’s a loose fitting one that is perfect for hiding lumps of death have a nice day young man
Women’s section: pockets? Yeah sure of course! We’ll give you fifty fake pockets.
Men’s section: you can put your first born in one of ten pockets and still have room for more things
My favorite new feature on the app is the one that pops one of these notifications up whenever I reblog something with an image in it. I find it especially charming that they stack up and don’t go away on their own.
Tumblr users and staff are locked in an eternal battle
For me it’s not even stuff with images 😭 Even reblogging or making text posts does it
“the sea doesn’t care about you!!” ok well just because the ocean is unspeakably powerful and can’t stop the rhythm she’s held for uncountable eons just for one person doesn’t mean she can’t love you. loving and changing are two different things. we wouldn’t have life without the ocean…. and yeah, if you don’t respect her and treat her cavalierly, you’ll perish. but how can anyone say the sea doesn’t mourn when she holds so much life and beautiful secrets in her belly? why are we putting atheism on the ocean that loves us?
you want the ocean to change for YOU? you think that being tamed is the only way for her to prove her love??? go sit on a rock by the seaside and listen to the tide. find some gratitude for one of the only things in existence that always keeps its promise to come back
Kronk: By whom, though? I might be your classic “hunk” body type, but I’m not exactly a top. I have a couple exes I could call that might be his type. Do you want someone who would take him out for dinner first, or just…
In the back of my head, I’m constantly saying “this would’ve been better as a text post” while watching a majority of tiktoks. I, uh, yeah no this one is perfect as is
